I get this question all the time, why do I have to work on myself? Why do I have to talk about my family? Why do I have to talk about all of these things, it’s all in the past. Why? Why? Why?
Spirituality is really about understanding what’s inside of you.
A great master once told me that spirituality and enlightenment is really about taking what’s inside and bringing it out. There’s a lot of psychological babble about your childhood. Now, everyone has come from a dysfunctional family. Everyone has experienced some kind of trauma in their childhood. I am not a psychologist, so I cannot speak on those terms. However, I am a mystic and a healer, and can speak on ancient knowledge derived from Shamans. Shamans believed that in times of trauma, the soul broke into a million little pieces. These pieces of the soul broke off to live in the underworld, known to the shamans as the subconscious mind.
So what most people don’t understand is that if your father neglected you, abandoned you, or in the most extreme cases, abused you, you experienced trauma.
As children, we don’t have the capacity to understand trauma. So as a safety mechanism, we tuck the trauma away in the back of our minds. This is our bodies’ way of saving the pain for later. Our minds do this, because as children we simply don’t have the capacity to process or deal with pain. So we tuck it away for later, to deal with it once we are adults. However, this doesn’t happen. We grow older and we start getting into relationships. We have children and we never give ourselves a chance to work on these issues. Then, we start to sedate this pain with shopping, sex, drugs, and escapism.
Very few people understand that if they’re broken inside, it is going to be very difficult for them to find love.
It is difficult to find love because you’re broken and you got to be fixed. People come to me and tell me that they just wanted a love spell. They don’t want to go through the work of self-healing. This is when I have to explain to them that I can’t just do a love spell. For me, love is about healing. Love is a healing energy. I can only help people who are open and willing to heal. I am sure that there are a lot of people online who can do love spells without the healing capacity. However, I am fearful that they energy won’t be strong enough to bring back everlasting love. Or worse, the energy that these spell castors use may be malignant. This may cause a relationship to go from bad to worse.
I am always sure to tell people that I am a healer first.
People need to understand that magic is about healing. It’s not just about people getting what they want. These are the people who are under the misconception that love is transactional. They believe in tit for tat. They believe that love is an exchange, which means that they have to give something to get something. I talk about relationships in my other articles. I identified two types of relationships. The first type of relationships purely transactional, people are in these relationships strictly for self-preservation purposes. Sadly, these relationships tend to be lopsided. This is when someone is given too much, or trying too hard, and the other person is doing absolutely nothing. Furthermore, people in these transactional relationships tend to attract users, abusers, takers, manipulators, social paths, and losers. They will attract people who will get whatever they can get, and take as much as they can. Then, there are the relationships that stem from God. These relationships aren’t transactional. Rather, these relationships consist of two people who genuinely support and love one another. They want the other person to succeed. They care for and about their significant other, and work hard to see them become better people.
People who get into transactional relationships tend to run out of energy.
They get depleted. Why do they get depleted? They get depleted because they’re never going to be able to get the energy that they need from one individual. One person will never be enough. When I try and explain this concept to my clients, they complain that they don’t want to feel that pain. Sadly, they fail to understand the correlation between their childhood trauma and their inability to have a healthy and successful relationship. People feel that magic is quick and easy. That’s far from the truth. Real magic is about enlightenment and growth. Growth only happens when we experience pain or some kind of discomfort. So when you’re energy is low, you’re going to get more takers, and yes, you’re going to get involved in more toxic relationships.
People may give you a blanket answer to your troubles by saying that you’ve got to love yourself.
However, you simply can’t love yourself when a big part of you is broken. You’re a fatherless daughter. That means that you never had the protection, love, and guidance from a paternal figure. You didn’t have anyone to protect you or to help you survive. Instead, you were thrown out in the world, and forced to figure things out as you go. The only problem with trial and error, is that you make mistakes that cause irreparable harm to your relationships and psyche. You have to think of your condition as being a handicap. Only people aren’t going to be empathic. They’re going to exploit this handicap as a weakness, and take the shirt right off your back. These things will continue to happen until you sit back and fix yourself.
Traditionally in weddings, the father would give the bride away.
He does this because he is known as the provider and the protector. Once he gives the bride to her groom, then the groom becomes the provider and the protector. This is what fathers do, they protect us, and offer us an innate sense of stability and security. So when we don’t have the protection from our fathers, we become vulnerable and susceptible to the vicissitudes of life. So how to you fix this? How do you gain a sense of security and stability without having a strong father figure, well, you’re going to have to put it in God’s hands.
I love it when people tell me that they’re going to put things in God’s hands.
I don’t think they understand how big God is. There is a reason why we have greater gods and lesser Gods. There is a reason why we have the chakra system, deities, and Orishas. The reason behind it is that deities such as the Orishas are specialized in a certain category. For example, Ogun is the ores of Iron, progression, and war. The Orisha Oshun is the deity of love, and Yemaya is the deity of fertility and creativity. These deities specialize in these energies, so when you reach out to them, the energy will be more tailored to your needs. Furthermore, the energy from these deities will be much more concentrated, then just calling out to God.
It is important to understand that we all inherit energies in the form of information from our fathers.
However, if we grew up with him physically in our lives, we might have a problem accessing it. This is why we have to reach out to the Orisha to ignite the flame, or give us the spark that we need to tap into these memories. Furthermore, we need protection, guidance, stability, and love. This world can be a cruel, dark place without these things. So, if we don’t have a real father in our lives, we are going to have to reach out to Obatala so he can become our father.
By petitioning to Obatala you’re breaking the cycles of transactional toxic relationships.
You are then ready to invest the little bit of energy that you have into Obatala. Then, He will create God like relationships for you. It is important to understand that real love doesn’t come from other people. Real love comes from God. This is a divine relationship that you must establish if you want to move forward, or rekindle any kind of relationship.
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